Why parents get involved in my life? Why don't they understand me? Why don't parents give me space and allow me to take my own decision? Why don't i get the freedom? If that is the question in your mind, read this article. Because they are over-attached but this article is not for them, it is for you and you need to know more about them and their over-attachment.....
In the physical world, our Parents are our creator and if they didn't decide about you, you wouldn't be sitting hear and reading this article right now. Generally, any creator is always attached to their creation. Think about!!! If you are created something, let it be anything a product, a project or software, or doll or app. Don't you think even you would be really attached to it. So you have to understand that it is natural for them to be over-attached because they think that they are your creator and have all the rights over you. I know you will not agree
Lets take an example, you own a brand new mobile phone. If it’s really the best in the market, you would go for extended warranty so that it could be fixed if anything goes wrong, then buy some insurance so it is protected when it is with you. You buy a really good cover and fancy case so that it’s safe and gets noticed. You give it so much care and attention that if you find any nick or scratch you really get angry. You get very selective to the apps that you install, you go online and research for instruction of how to make best use of the it. You are selective to who all would you give access to your mobile. You want everything best for it just so that you showoff to your friends and feel proud of it. And the end you make yourself responsible of everything that happens to the mobile which gives you all the pressure thinking…what happens if it breaks, what happens if it is stolen etc… Thats how you parents feel about you. I am not saying that parents consider you as a mobile or a product. I am just giving this example so that you could easily relate your feeling to a mobile with your parents feeling towards you.Now you know why they are over attached to you.
Next thing you have to understand is that the above actions which you take after getting this new phone is based on your previous experience or your friends or parents experience which might be good or bad for phone. So what I am trying to tell over here is that we always get irritated by something they say or some advise they give which could be good or which wont be applicable to current times. As children what we should do is understand what they have went through in their life. If you have a good understand you will clearly understand as to why. For example, they would say “Dont waste food or money”… Why because they might have come form a very tough life where they had money just for survival. Or they might say not to talk to a certain friends or not to go to certain place. Ever though why they are saying all this you ? Simple… These advise are created by their own past experience. So as children we should always try to learn what your parents went through in their past and that would make it easy for you. See it’s easy to say they don't understand the current generation… but is it the duty of current generation to make them understand changes that have happened.
All you have to do is talk to them and try to understand why they are saying something to you and where they are coming from. Once you start listening to them you will understand their point of view and you will bring to understand as to why they are saying that. Don't just reject advice, try to understand how this advice have come into their minds. So that you can use it to make them understand your point of view. Let say for example, Your parents have stayed all their life in a village where people don't go out of the house after 8:00pm as it gets all dark but you bring them to a city and they shout at you when you come home at 10:00pm. Who should be to be blamed here.. the parent or the child?
The current parents-child issue are all because two individuals with different experience rejecting each other’s point of view without trying to understand each other. Positive life is in the middle when both parents past experience and children new experience is shared discussed and jointly an action is taken where both the parents and child are satisfied with the decision.
We are all too busy that we don't have time to talk about these … find time because for every positive relationship all you need is time. And if people give that time for each other by not getting too involved in their own busy life, relationships would be much better
Talking about freedom and space. All I can is
Point 1: You have all the freedom to do anything in life that can freely share it with your parents, if you cant share then generally it is won't be right”
Point 2: There is positive freedom and negative freedom. If you don't know the difference just go for Point 1
Discuss, understand and take a joint decision to Live a Positive Life - Deek Parassini
Part 1 - Over attachment to Lover
Part 2 - Over attachment to Friends
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