AskDeek : Q1 by Sri Bhavani Sadhanandavel (Note: Name, Question & Attached pic is only posted with permission of the questioner)
I'm Interested to know about adjustment for any relationship. Adjustment in family, friends, love everything. I'm Interested to know all. something we will be adjusting too much for a wrong person so how will you find out that?
DEEK'S REPLY :
When you say “Adjustment in Relationship” that itself shows that you are seen that relationship from a negative perspective. But then when you change it from “Adjustment” to “Flexibility ” the whole meaning changes to a Positive one.....
I think both means the same but how you use it makes all the difference i.e. When you talk about flexibility it is a strength and adjustment, it become as weakness. It’s all how you think about it. Once you start seeing all your adjustments that you are doing in life to how flexible you are in life. Things will slowly start being positive because you are push out positive energy of flexibility rather than negative energy of adjustment…But first you have start thinking Positive about what you are doing and you are not adjusting rather you are the most flexible.
So now lets talk about relationship… Being flexible in a relationship is one of the greatest strength of a person…If you have seen the movie of Fantastic 4, Mister Fantastic (Reed Richards) is the leader because he is flexible in terms of his body and relationship. It’s a strength and not a weakness. When you are adjusting your are making yourself negative and when you flexible your making yourself positive..
Only challenge with being too flexible is that people tend to misuse your flexibility or take take you for granted or something put in a slot “Ahh!!! Thats OK with her/him type” and thats when the problem starts. A rubber-band can only stretch to a limit after that it will beaker. Slowly your adjustment could built up and bust out for a very small reason… You and the other person wouldn't know as why it had happened as the bust happens all of a sudden for something very small. But what people forget is their is a constant unknown suppression of your adjustment which creates that big bang in your life and everything falls apart… So before it’s breaks you have to speak up to the relation before the limit is crossed or you find being misused. At first they might fell bad or they might say you have changed. But that OK!!!! You have to put the message across.
So the problem again boils down to you. when you do something in suppression it is adjustment … when you do something for the good then it is flexibility.. So it how you take that makes it positive or negative but before the limit is cross you need to speak or share..
Now i will just give a overview of it in relationship, I would just talk about the summary on main relationship 1) God 2) Family 3) Friends.. Because if i write details on each, it will be a very long one 😊
Relationship with God - Don't try to be flexible, what you are supposed to do, just do it i.e. your prayers, reading holy books, going to temple, churches etc. Your end results will be surely good. This will also help you to be more flexible in your life.
Relationship with Family - Being flexible is always good.. sometimes they might not realise it now but later they will surely will. But it it crosses too much it is better to sit together and have a discussion about it. In family, sometime if you don't speak up they might take it for grant or may be they just dont know you are adjusting so much for them. Generally the most flexible person would be the backbone of the family and if they break the whole family relationship would be in risk.
Relationship with Friends - You should never adjust your value, principles & beliefs to any friends or to be a part of a certain group. You are what you are and make sure they accept you as you are rather than you change for the group so that they accept you
I was just thinking to writing a short reply but it went too long as i started writing and if I start writing on adjustment in details then it would turn into a book 😊
Love a Positive Life - Deek Parassini
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